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Spoiling: When enough is enough
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- Spoiling is the natural outgrowth of the relationship we have with
our grandchildren.
- Spoiling is a way to compensate for those earlier years of relational and
financial deprivation.
- How our children respond to our spoiling their children is based
on two factors.
- The kind of relationship we had with them as they grew up.
- The kind of spoiling we're doing.
- Make sure that what you are doing is okay with their
parents.
- Make sure that what you are doing is helping your grandchild
grow into a better person.
- For a lot of grandparents, there is a strong desire to use the
money God has blessed them with to enhance their grandchildren's
lives.
- When it comes to our money, grandchildren are better off with
too little of it than with too much.
- It is irrelevant how much money we save from taxes if it ultimately
goes against the best interests of our families.
- The better plan is to pass the money on in such a way that it
helps your children in their efforts to raise your
grandchildren.
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Empowering vs. Enabling: Intervening on behalf of our grandchildren
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The Issue of Intervention
- There is a thin line between intervening and interfering.
- Our intervention can either empower them to be more
self-sufficient and godly or it can enable them to remain in
mediocrity and play the victim.
- The best way to get results is to pray hard and live a godly life.
- More direct intervention may be necessary if your grandchildren
are in peril.
- Be proactive and do your best to come up with a plan that will
do the most to benefit your grandchildren while leaving your
sanity intact.
- You might want to talk with an attorney and see if there is a
way that you might -- at least temporarily -- get more legal
control over your grandchildren's daily lives.
- Sometimes families have a child born to them who has a mental,
physical or developmental problem demanding a huge amount of care.
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Resolving the inevitable family conflicts
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- Given that conflict is inevitable, our choice is in how we are
going to deal with it.
- Truth, spoken in love, in an atmosphere of forgiveness gives grace
a chance to work in people's hearts over time.
- When it comes to conflict within a family, there are four things
we need to keep in mind.
- We must reject passivity as an option.
- We must take responsibility.
- We must lead courageously.
- We must trust God for a greater outcome.
- In any conflict, even those that shock us, the goal is a healing
that runs deep enough to touch all hearts and a holiness that won't
quit.
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