American Broadside

Domestic Abuse At Home and At Large

I have not written for a while because I have been busy with work, school, politicking, and attempting to maintain a relationship with my wife, who is equally active. That does not mean that I have not been cogitating on the world around us.

The concept of synergy came up in one of my classes. The instructor was discussing the synergistic effect of taking two drugs: the result can be exponentially greater than you normally would expect, 1 + 1 = 5 rather than 2. This can result in an overdose or psychotic behavior.

Synergy is alive and well in other aspects of our world as well. Frequently, I experience it when two seemingly unrelated ideas or facts merge to create an unexpected result: sometimes, this results in an epiphany, often just gas. You be the judge.

at home

Domestic violence is common in the United States. I have seen estimates as high as 1 in 3 households may experience some form of regular physical, sexual, psychological, or verbal abuse by one or more members. There is a never-ending string of stories about battered wives and children. Less publicized are battered men, though there are plenty of them too.

There is no mystery about the mechanics of domestic violence. There is no mystery about how an abuser thinks. It is just too common and most likely, all of us are aware of an abusive relationship with one-third of us living in one.

What are the key features of domestic violence?

It begins with an unrelenting attack on the victim’s self-esteem. The abuser’s message is simple, “There is something wrong with you. You are unworthy. You are unlovable. You are incapable of taking care of yourself.” Most often it begins with subtle messages and over time escalates as the victim’s defenses are worn away.

Physical violence does not begin until after the victim reaches a weakened emotional state: they are much less likely to resist, they may even think that they provoked the violence.

The abuser’s common excuse is that, “I slipped, I just couldn’t help it.”

This is a blatant lie. Abusers intentionally isolate their partners and families so that society does not discover their behavior. They know full well that what they are doing is wrong and they act to protect themselves by hiding their deeds, often in full sight, through the use of coercion.

In addition, an abuser undermines the reality of what they are doing by repeating over and over again that the victim does not understand what is happening: black is white, night is day, and that the abuse is actually an act of love. This promotes even greater isolation of the abused.

As the victim looses contact with family and friends, the violence and indoctrination intensifies. This system of control and isolation spirals downward until the ultimate violence of total enslavement and murder occur.

at large

We are all familiar with the concept of family used to mean a larger community of faith, race, people, nations, or humanity. This is not poetic license or hyperbole. The dynamics that work within the traditional family exist within the larger incorporations.

Domestic abuse exists at all these levels.

I fear that the family of the United States is being set up for abuse.

First, liberals and progressive thinkers have been systematically maligned, verbally abused, for over 30 years. Our patriotism and commitment to our nation has been devalued and our beliefs reduced to epithets and labels.

Second, liberal and progressive lifestyles have been determined to be “ungodly”. In the eyes of some of our national family, we are substandard, not worthy of salvation (whatever that means), and thus not of equal value as human beings.

Third, since 2000, George W. Bush and his administration have told us that black is white and that night is day: No Child Left Behind, the title stolen from the Children’s Defense League and designed to undercut education, Clear Skies environmental program, undermining air pollution standards, and the War on Terror, much of which directed at undermining American liberties.

Fourth, since 2001, George W. Bush and his administration and followers have made a concerted effort to isolate the American people from the rest of the world. By systematically destroying our links with the global community and undermining or credibility as a nation, the administration has begun to draw the shades over the windows of the American household.

Are we going to permit the radicals and extremists to isolate us so that they can show us that their love is a just and terrible love: like their God’s?

Do we accept their black is white world?

We do not need to resort to the psychological violence of our extremist American brothers and sisters. We can encourage healthy thinking and behavior by being ourselves and not tumbling into the abyss with them. They need our compassion and firmness.

As liberals and progressive, we can resist this growing domestic abuse. We can spread the word and we can vote.

Spread the word.

Vote.

posted by Les @ 6:16 AM