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Those of us who've been around a while have had our brushes with tech support madness. We buy a product, it doesn't work, we dial tech support, wait, get disconnected, we wait, we start getting really mad, we wait some more, finally connect to someone whose misery makes ours pale, we realize we are in techno hell, we hang up, and slink back to our cubicles to brood, problem unfixed and looking unfixable for the duration.
The message could not be plainer: computer companies have bigger problems than helping you get your keyboard to make letters when you type. After this happens to you a dozen times, you quit your squawking. If they don't care if your computer works, why should you?
But there are young adults out there who are just moving into the frustration stream, and for them it is a fresh wound. Last week I got a call from Bryan Sloane, a junior at Henry Sibley High School in Mendota Heights. Bryan is one of the young breed of techno savants, running a small consulting business helping people set up web sites while still in school. His kind thinks anything is doable -- just give them the tools.
But he was having trouble getting his money's worth from Compaq for the LTE 5300 notebook computer he bought (list price, $4300), but which stopped working after week one. By the time I talked to him, Bryan was already in the dark stage where he wanted to spread the discouraging word that not all computer companies behave responsibly.
Here's his story. A week after buying the notebook in January, the hard disk failed. He called Compaq tech support, who promised to send a box to ship his laptop in. It took two weeks of computerlessness for the box to arrive, but Bryan sent it in to Compaq's Cypress, Texas headquarters. A week later it came back, much the worse for wear. The moment he booted it up, he heard a groan issue from the hard disk and the computer shut down, never to power up again.
Again Bryan shipped the computer to Compaq. This time when it came back, the case was scratched more than ever, the case was dented, and had some slimy residue all over it. More mysteriously, the microprocessor and screen had been switched.
At this point Bryan joined the throngs of ballistic computer users, demanding a new computer to replace the wreckage. Compaq said No thanks, we'd rather not, and that's where I came in.
You must know is that Compaq is the world's biggest seller of PCs, bigger than Apple or IBM or Gateway or Dell. A Fortune 500 company that didn't even exist 16 years ago, the company has historically had an excellent rep for product quality.
But the hardware business is brutal, and Compaq's philosophy of being cheaper than IBM but just as good is running out of gas in an age of low prices. So the company's been having trouble maintaining its margins. My guess is that, amid the blood and din of battle, the once-solid Compaq commitment to customer satisfaction has taken a few hits.
Anyway, I was all set to relegate Bryan's message to the yawn pit, where I toss assorted lost causes and innocent yelps. But his complaint stirred something in me, an ancient thirst for consumer justice. By god, I thought, it wasn't right that companies sell people computers that don't work! Like an old warrior clapping on his armor for one last go, I rode out to give Compaq a hard time.
I got on the phone to Compaq tech support, gave them Bryan's customer number, and asked what were the young man's chances of getting the kind of computer he had paid for a month earlier. They said they would look into it. OK, it wasn't Mike Wallace, but it was better than a poke in the eye.
The upshot of all this was that Compaq finally caved in and agreed to refund Bryan's money.
"We made mistakes with Mr. Sloane," said John Sweney, Compaq spokesman. "We had to replace his hard drive twice, we damaged the case, and then we misplaced the unit for a week. That's bad. On the other hand, we offered him a refund or replacement. We're sorry about the outcome, but we tried to make it up to him."
Sorry doesn't cut it for Bryan. "They should have offered me a new computer the third time I called for help, not after I demanded a refund. There is no way I would ever recommend their brand again."
Think about that. In one month, Bryan metamorphosed from an optimistic kid who believed that computer companies stood behind their excellent products, and that employees were empowered to do whatever it took to make customers happy, to just another frazzled consumer, smoke still curling from the ears. And all that talk about empowering employees is just that, talk.
Bryan, welcome to my world.
Michael Finley is co-author with Harvey Robbins of Why Change Doesn't Work.Visit Michael Finley at his home page, or e-mail him at mfinley@mfinley.com
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mfinley@mfinley.com